Dreams.

I had a strange dream the day before the day before yesterday.

I think I should type it all out so that I can ponder over it better. I'm probably safe because only Chermaine and Perini know about the existence of this blog, and I've told Crystal and Chermaine about it already, so it's alright I guess.

Here goes.

It started with me being in my house. I was stepping out of my house when I was ambushed by a group of young adults, probably not much older than I was, though I never looked into a mirror at any time in my dream. They were dressed in hip-hopish clothes and I distinctly remember one girl wearing a solid-colour tank top, yellow or pink or something like that, with baggy pants, and she had cropped hair, probably with a cap on it.

Sorry, I forgot quite a few details, though I'm amazed I can remember so much already.

Anyway, so I was being ambushed. They were kinda trying to snatch my bag away from me and I yanked it back and I fended them off before going back into the house and shutting the grills on them.

A while later [though I couldn't keep time in my dream, one event just took place after another as if the time lulls had been skipped], I somehow realised that I had two bags left outside my house, one being my green Converse sling bag. I was fearful that those teenagers would grab them or do something, at least, so I opened the door and dashed for those bags. Once I left the house, I noticed that same group of people standing at the end of the corridor, which, btw, is a short one. When they saw me, they ran over to me and tried to snatch the bags from me. I grabbed the bags and threw them into the house before I slapped all their hands away, ran back into the house myself and locked the grills. As I was doing so, one by one, they all walked away, and one girl, the same girl I mentioned earlier, looked me straight in the eye. I can't exactly describe the look, but the nearest to it was blank intention. Contradictory, I know. Her eyes were devoid of feeling but they were staring at me, and me only, with great intention and deliberateness.

Pause it there, I need to point something out. One thing I need to say is that time was completely surreal in the entire dream. If the bags were right in front of the door, I could've grabbed them and ran back in in quick time, before they even realised I was out, but they managed to ambush me all the same. Consider:

1. The area in front of my door was actually a lot bigger than it was in real life, and so was my house, the living room. If I were to actually throw in the bags like I had in the dream, the house-god altar would have been hit for sure. Perhaps I could have had to run for a longer time before I could reach the bags, but then again the corridor was longer than in real life too, which isn;t saying something since it's really, really short too.

2. The fact that those people were able to ambush me so quickly could have meant that they were superhuman and could run lightning fast. Or, they could teleport.

Another thing I want to say is that I felt miserable. I was about to be even more miserable in the rest of my dream, but even at the beginning I already felt waves of loneliness I couldn't comprehend. That was the tenour of my dream throughout. I remember at this time even the sky was cloudly, so much so that I couldn't even tell the time of day. like I mentioned, time and place were surreal in my dream.

Play.

So, when I went back in, I realised that the bags were no longer there. Puzzled, I asked my sister, who was being her usual couch potato and fixing her eyes on the TV like she normally does, and she grunted out that she had moved them into my room. Although this is strange in itself because she very rarely helps me do anything even if I ask politely, and what is more she was busy watching television, something she doesn't stop doing unless the programme is over or my parents tell her to stop, I would like to point out something that would come to be even stranger.

She replied me. That meant that she acknowledged my presence.

I'm not trying to imply that my sister doesn't talk to me at all even in real life. She does. How else can we fight? But if you're scratching your head now, let me explain the next part so as to clarify what I mean by strange.

Like I mentioned, time was surreal. Any lulls were quickly skipped over. I don't recall even entering my room. Next thing I know, I was in a place that I cannot remember, with the group of people who suddenly didn't notice me at all. They were talking among themselves. While standing, I might add. So I stood there in plain view [probably], and I eavesdropped on their conversation and none of them noticed me. Or they could have been acting like they didn't.

So I listened and through one comment made, I realised I was dead.

Ba-da-bing.

Now you realise why I found it strange. Unless my sister had died too. O.O

After I came upont that revelation, the girl whom I've mentioned twice already turned and looked me straight in the eye again. She said something like, "Now you know." I'm not sure if she said, "Welcome," or anything like that but next thing I knew, I found that I was in a huge, huge, huge house that was pretty packed with people.

I didn't feel welcome at all, because it was in this house that my misery really started. I'm still not entirely sure, but it probably stemmed from the bitter loneliness that I felt. Ironical, hmm? The place was as full of people entering and leaving as a castle with servants preparing for a ball. And it was probably as dark and gloomy and large and empty as a castle, too. But there was nothing magical about that place. There were no windows, and while there were lights, some parts of the house were half shrouded in darkness, and at one time later in the dream, there were some places completely black. And I was feeling so bitterly lonely because no one, not a single person, acknowledged my presence. No one said hi, no one even looked at me. Though that girl staring at me was pretty creepy, it still signified that I was still there. Unequivocally there.

I'd like to stress that time was surreal. Again. Because I could jump from one scene to another with no explanation and experience as to what put me there, scenes don't link so it would sound rather incredulous. In any case, my dream was incredulous, but I'll type a full analysis of my dream and what could have brought it about, i.e. my thoughts and opinions of recent times, later.

The next scene was of me in the basement. Somehow, I was working there. The house was indeed preparing for some event, but I need to clarify that this scene was the haziest of all, so I'll put forth a whole host of 'maybe's and 'probably's.

I was in charge of arranging some sort of exhibition, I think. In any case, there were lots of those huge, vertically rectangular boards that they use for exhibitions, for you to pin your facts sheets and posters and what not on. The different thing about it was that the boards were all separated to become individual boards, while the exhibition boards are linked together in a zigzag pattern. Plus, those boards were smooth and white, probably like the boards that form a wall in the AVA Rooms. Thought in these boards, there were wheels on the bottom. So, my job was to move them around in different patterns. Strange, huh. I think there was someone who was directing me but if there were, he/she never looked at me once, and neither did he/she talk, at least not directly, I think, to me. I just understood my instructions and did what I was supposed to do.

Another thing was that the basement was basically this huge, huge, huge, doming hallway. One thing to note is that there was little or no colour. The walls were bare and there was an average stream of people entering and exiting.

Now for the next scene. This scene is rather cataclysmic. I was probably in some sort of cellar [note the underground-ness of the places in the house I was in.] because it was dark and the only light came from an opening in the ceiling and I was standing beside a staircase, those old rickety ones that you normally see in movies nowadays and definitely not in Singapore. This scene is pretty short but I say it was cataclysmic because two people I know in life appeared.

What's even stranger is that they were Leighton and Qiyuan.

Yes, I know your reaction. Mine, too. WHAT THE HELL.

Uh-huh.

Anyway, they were walking TOGETHER, and even TALKING AMIABLY, and if I recall correctly they were even eating ice cream too. Qiyuan never noticed me, but Leighton did, if only to spare me a glance. It was as if he didn't know me, my name, or who I was, just a stranger he was glancing at.

Pause. So were those two guys dead? And why was Leighton the only person to look at me and really acknowledge that I was there?

Play. This scene is even more cataclysmic in that it spurred me on to investigate his presence. Since he and Qiyuan were climbing the staircase up, in the next scene I found myself on the ground floor. Think, whatever happened to the exhibition work? But I was busy wondering whatever happened to the people that were constantly milling about in the house. Because the place was as deserted and bone dry as...well, a desert. And just as bare. The living room was white, spotless and perfect, except that there was nothing in the least homely about it. I think there was a sofa set in the middle of the great room, and though it was averagely-sized, it looked tiny in the white, white room. Moreover, it was a sickly light lime colour [the sofa], and the carpet was light peach, almost as light as the white floor. The table itself was made out clear glass, and there was no vase, no flowers on it of any kind.

You might be wondering why I didn't get snow blindness from the whiteness of it all, but that's because of the lighting. The room was illuminated in some places, but the lights were so far apart that it gave the impression of the entire room being half-shrouded in light, or in darkness, depending on which way your philosophy goes. One thing remained the same. It was as lonely as ever.

Until this one guy walked out. He was very obviously distracted, but I stopped him all the same. I was dwarfed next to him. I'm not sure but I was probably the size and height that I am now, though perhaps slightly taller than I am now, judging from the sizes and heights of the people from previous scenes. It is possible that the people in the afterlife were slightly smaller and shorter though. Anyway, so this guy was kinda plump and pretty tall, and he was wearing a suit. I only saw him for a while and he didn't make much of an impression on me so I'm not sure if he was white or black or if he was wearing sunglasses, but in any case he reminded me of those hulking bodyguards that the Queen probably has.

So I stopped him and asked him something. He pointed vaguely in one direction before walking off distractedly. In that direction happened to be three staircases, large, broad and looming. The most striking thing is that they were shrouded in almost-total darkness. I walked up to them.

Then I woke up.

How frustrating can that be?? I was just about to explore the second floor!

Another interesting thing is that I slept for only two hours, but in the dream though there was no keeping track of time, I felt as if a week had passed.

Thanks, mom.